The new Mac mini looks very enticing. It really does. Intel Core Duo processor that's five times as fast as the previous model, a dual-layer DVD recorder, a remote, and Front Row Bonjour. What's the catch? The video card. It's a shared-memory horror show that will have a huge impact on graphics-intensive applications like Final Cut or Photoshop. So, sod that.
Still waiting for the new iBook, then. And perhaps, just maybe, an iMac…
The second rule of IT (the first is, obviously "have you tried turning it off and back on?"), is this: Never do anything major on a Friday afternoon or a Monday morning. It's common sense, really; when Friday comes around, you're focussed on the upcoming weekend, so your concentration is a bit off, and if anything goes wrong, you'll try to rush things in order to try and fix it (which will go horribly awry). Monday morning is fairly similar, bit with an added complication: something has bound to have failed over the weekend, so it's pointless to try and do something big when you're going to get five phone calls in the first half-hour. So, that's why you can't get IT to do anything at the start or end of the week!
Obviously, it's a bit far for me, but if anybody is around London tonight, they could do much worse than going to see Johnny Boy DJ at the Pleasure Unit bar tonight!
(now, guys, if you could just sort out a UK release and some tour dates, that would be grand!)
It's going around.
But, as it's almost a year since I saw the wonderful Saturday Looks Good To Me in concert, I thought I'd direct your attention to this:
Sound On Sound contains 30 tracks culled from SLGTM's seemingly endless series of 7" and one-off CD-R runs. A veritable bargain at $11.95!
(this promo not influenced by the delightful Betty Barnes posting here earlier. Oh no! I never talk about celebrity appearances on my blog. (PAUL MORLEY WUZ HERE))
So, uh, consider this: if you found yourself in the position of having to interview Stellastarr*, and you only had 24 hours to prepare, what questions would you think of asking?**
* This is not a footnote. Oops. I blame the band.
** This is, of course, highly hypothetical. Oh yes.
I was all excited today, for I was told I had a package from Wales* arrive this morning. At first, I couldn't remember why, but then: Yes! I thought. It's the Johnny Boy Theme / Dub single that I've been waiting for!
Except not. Apparently, Boobytrap have sold out, and shouldn't have had it listed on their website. While the label in question did send me an impressive load of stuff as a way of saying sorry, it quite a disappointment.
And no-one offered to sell me their underwear today, either. I feel neglected by my spam.
But! Five weeks from now, and I'll be in Chapel Hill again, running scared of The Evil Squirrel Conspiracy, and walking until my feet explode into giant blisters. Hurrah!
* Sadly, no krill, either.
Hah! I may be mocked for having a MySpace profile, but, as well as the crazy people who offer me their bodies and their underwear if only I'll send money to a box in a London branch of Mailboxes, Etc., sometimes you get a nice surprise. Last week, it was Mandy from North Carolina (currently resident in Missouri), and this morning, an unexpected message from Helen, once of St. Gabriel's Hall (Helen with black hair, rather than Helen with blonde hair (if I heard from Helen with blonde hair, you would have heard about it sooner, believe me)). She's off to study to be an opera singer! Which sounds quite spectacular.
Me? I fixed a printer today by sending an email: "Have you tried turning it off and on?" Tomorrow, I plan to tidy up some cables! I'm setting my aims high, like Matt.
To be honest, I feel a bit bad about my blog at the moment; the new working regime is playing havoc with me adding anything interesting here right now (yes, you at the back, I know it wasn't all that great beforehand). I don't have many amusing anecdotes; my journey into work consists of waiting for the bus, getting on the bus and trying not to embarrass myself in front of the rather cute girl who invariably sitting at the front, fall asleep until it's time to get off, and then into work.
While I haven't gone down to the level of The IT Crowd, I normally fix at least one computer each week by turning off and on.
Then, on the way back, it's pretty much the same process, although at the moment instead of sleeping, I'm reading a biography of Lyndon B. Johnson (part 2 of the series I started in 2003, Laura!). Exciting times.
So, er, sorry. You do have Google search now, so you can find happier times. And don't forget I'm off to America at the end of March, which normally means things get a teensy bit more exciting. Until then, well, I hope you can bear with me…
And no, I wasn't drunk when I wrote this. Though I should probably have been.
The IRS have sent me this year's tax forms. So kind of them. I didn't make any money in America this year, lads! Nor last year! You can stop!
ILX's spangly super-fine and v.v. good band Shiumra Curves is playing at the Luminare tonight! Go! Listen! Inquire about the kinky glowing Japanese hedgehogs! (spooook!)
Q But you've got like a -- you've got a situation room here. You've got people who monitor stuff. It's impossible to find out -- I mean, the vice president knew immediately, "Oh, no! I've shot somebody accidentally," and it takes 24 hours --
Also, if Labour keep up their insane plans to saddle this country with a pointless identity card system, I'm voting Tory at the next election (only, and only if they make it an electoral promise to dismantle it if the Lords can't stop them). I'll feel like scum, but it has to be done.
Today, I hate Microsoft. But love Linux geeks for creating a boot CD that can reset Windows 2000 Administrator accounts.
For others: Tom, I think the Google addition shouldn't be too hard. I'll try and add it at the weekend, where I also phone Phil, finally reply to Richard in the latest instalment in the current email debate of "Mrs Thatcher: Anti-Christ or just plain Evil?, continue writing Ian's Great Doomed Graphic Novel Idea of 2006 (Reborn Because of Having Money Again).
I don't expect to actually do it all…
Grant Morrison on Batman
These are tears of joy, not sadness. SCI-FI CLOSET! "HNN." MAN-BAT NINJA!
DC: 1 Million. Marvel: Nil.
I barely survived the 2004 US election. I do not want to hear the phrase 'flip-flop' ever again. Thank you.
If you are going to call me with a view to selling me things I don't want, please have the decency to turn off your mobile phone. And if it rings, don't leave me hanging until you finish. Because I wasn't really interested before, and after that, I'm making a note never to use your company for anything...
Cat Power cancels her entire upcoming tour for unspecified health reasons. She's unlikely to see this, considering the vastness of the Internet and having much better things to do instead, but I'm sure you'll join me in wishing her a speedy recovery. And go buy The Greatest. It's Radio 2-approved!
Given news reports today have stated that Abu Hamza was convicted partly for owning "an encyclopaedia of terror", I think we need to know:
- Just where can you get hold of an Encyclopaedia of Terror? Is it a Time-Life deal complete with a carriage clock? (pause for everybody to make Captain Hook jokes)
- Did Hamza get the whole set, or does he just have the volume DA-LEK?
- Is it peer-reviewed?
- Can anybody be convicted of owning Google Earth if the CPS decides to make a case of it?
I also think we need to deposit a huge Lego "I ♥ Denmark" sign outside their embassy. Just because it seems a bit much at the moment…
My review of Johnny Boy's eponymous album is now up at Static. Now, in my defence, I drank quite a bit of vodka before sitting down to write the review; I was finding it rather difficult to get started. Hopefully, that will explain the bits that are blatantly stolen from Morley and Gillen, the parts where I turn CD ripping into something equivalent to developing an atom bomb, and for writing "Karl Marx produced by Trevor Horn" towards the end.
It's also hamstrung by a terrible use of Review Structure Version A: Go Through The Tracks In Sequence And Get The Review Out The Door As Soon As Possible. Given my anxiety towards whether the album could live up to my expectations, I wanted to try and get across the rush I felt as I first heard each track - being so nervous as You Are The Generation... ended, to the moments of joy in 15 Minutes and "what the HELL was that?" in Bonnie Parker's 115th Dream. I'm not sure that comes across, but I think you can tell from my gushing praise that I liked it somewhat.
The Dresden Dolls — Yes, Virginia
And thank goodness for that.
Yes, I quite liked The IT Crowd. The first episode, well, perhaps not so great (although I got the sense that some of the jokes, like the multiple cups of tea, would have worked well in Father Ted or Black Books), but the second episode was much better. Comedy swearing buzzers — always funny. Without exception.
Plus! A Commodore PET and a ZX81!
DEATH TO REALISM!
Brian Harvey sounded quite desperate during that interview, didn't he?
I am also enjoying the continued adventures of Lauren & Myleene on the subject of 50 Cent (Myleene seems to dig a little deeper every single time).
On a slightly different subject, I watched Jubilee last night. Can somebody explain just what the process was to get a film commissioned in the 1970s? Because I can't imagine "oh sure! We'll have Richard O'Brien attempting a serious role, the Queen being mugged and killed in the first ten minutes, the Soviet Republic of Dorset, a flame-haired Toyah spouting obscenities, and a media mogul who seems to have channelled the laugh of Lionel Blair" going over well today…
A moment of silence, if you please, for Ver Hits is no more.
(thanks to Simon for the depressing news. I think I'm going off to blub)
— Chesney Hawkes's Mole, Oxfordshire