Now, not wishing to come across as a stuffed waistcoat, but how can you go out in a bra, tiny garter and infinitesimal g-string when it's close to freezing? And not even look cold? Seriously, next year, bring a sweater.
Seen in one of the plane magazines yesterday - the world's biggest bar of Nestlé Crunch?
Time for my Chapel Hill Comics advert once again. Well, I can't help it if they had a sale on this weekend. Or that they had a Zenith book and Transformers UK: Space Pirates for $4 each, can I? They even offered to ship stuff home if I didn't think I could fit it all in my suitcases. So, once more: the most friendly and helpful comic shop I've ever frequented. Go! Spend money there!
Today, then: walking, a bit more walking, and some more besides. During those long stretches of walking interspersed with a little sitting, I thought of some excellent bon mots for today's entry. Obviously, I've forgotten all of them now.
Although, apparently, I have not done enough to get "does Chewbacca like Wookies?" into the English lexicon. I will try and rectify this in the next couple of weeks…
It seemed incredible to the waiter that there should be anyone in England who could ask such a question, but he had already gathered that the lady was an American lady, and American ladies, he knew, are often ignorant of the fundamental facts of life. He had once met one who had wanted to know what a football pool was.
Ah, nothing like a bit of Wodehouse to accompany you on a visit to the colonies.
I've decided that I don't particularly like airports. At least not these days. As you pass the security cordon, you're constantly reminded that while you may be physically located in a country, you're really Nowhere. This is a Nowhere where you're constantly monitored, and despite what rights you may be able to avail yourself outside the sprawl of the airport, in Nowhere, you exist at their whim and discretion.
Note to the current fashion set: destroyed jeans. Okay, it's your money, but, could you please make sure that you don't buy jeans that have holes in the back pocket? It's a little disconcerting, to say the least.
40,000 feet in the air; I've read my book, written my next review for Static (that, there, could be considered a plug. Not that I've written anything fantastic recently, although I am fond of the Tristan Prettyman review if you have a spare minute or two), played a game of Advance Wars, which was brought to a satisfactory conclusion with me routing the nefarious computer player's forces, and now I'm just waiting around for the 'light snack' before landing. This is invariably a pizza. Still, it's something I look forward to, as it appears to be a staple of the LGW/RDU flights, and even better, it is actually quite palatable. So there's that, then two hours until Raleigh/Durham airport (the airport so nice they named it twice, perhaps). Perhaps some more cleaning the computer's clock in the meantime.
Some time later
RDU may be an airport that only its mother could love, with illogical layouts and an amusing new police cordon to separate departures from arrivals whilst construction work goes on, but at RDU I haven't yet been taken into a sealed room complete with armed guards and questioned at length. So hurrah to RDU, friends!
Yes, it's time As before, updates will probably be sporadic, but I hope to get a few pictures and things up during the trip.
In the meantime, you can read this interview with Lauren Laverne about her new breakfast show (starting Monday, fact fans!), or well, I guess you could get all Benjamin Rory Slade about matters, and go off and do something more interesting instead.
Don't break the Internet while I'm gone!
Well, the bad news is that after Harriet Miers's withdrawal, the next candidate will probably be a die-hard strict-constitutionalist, but it has been fun watching the American Right beating itself up over the past month.
And! In other, less publicised news, the Democrats managed to score a victory last night, by convincing the Administration that they had the votes to overturn the President's revoking of the Davis-Bacon Act in Katrina-affected areas (it sets minimum wages for construction workers among other things). Democrats getting their act together? Republican support diminishing? The possibility that indictments may go all the way up to the Vice-President?
Fun times. Mind you, they're still here for another three years…
According to the PopJustice forums, from November 7th, EMI will no longer be releasing CDs. Instead, all their new records will be released as "Copy Controlled" discs, which depart significantly from the CD Red Book standard, and as a bonus, install device drivers on your Windows PC without your consent to prevent ripping (if this was done by a random person off the street, this would be hacking and be subject to a custodial sentence; when a record company does it, it's celebrated as a blow against piracy).
The current solution? The current protection schemes rely on the user running Windows, as dumb as that sounds (indeed, some CDs refuse to play back on anything less than full Administrator access, so they can install the anti-ripping device drivers). So, if you have a Mac or a Linux machine (even just a LiveCD will do), you can create a pristine digital copy with no fuss whatsoever. Of course, you'll still technically be breaking the law in the UK, but I don't think the music industry really wants to sue somebody who actually bought a copy of the CD (mind you, they're crazy enough to try it).
"Will a contraceptive jab promote promiscuity?"
Note to the editors: this is not the 1960s. And just why is ITN's ITV coverage slowly but surely morphing into the Daily Mail?
Remember, it's not a scandal until someone tries to break into a building.
The oddest thing about next week's release of Sally Cinnamon? Surely £7.99 is a bit steep, considering you can pick up a Stone Roses best of for about half that price in almost any of the floating HMV sales.
Yes, it's a bits and pieces week, I'm afraid.
Hurrah! (Just in time for that reasonably priced box-set, isn't it?)
he accused leftwing critics of promoting "a version of the old levelling-down mentality that kept us in opposition for so long".
Yes, Tony, but it got them into the position of creating the Comprehensive system in the first place, didn't it?
Once again, I must confess that I'm puzzled over Labour's cry of "CHOICE, DAMMIT!" As far as I can imagine, parents don't really want to choose their child's school - they just want them to go to a good one. So, yes, being an evil left-wing pinko Communist here, but why not try and concentrate on improving the schools instead of the hand-waving of parental selection?
I'm also a little worried about the idea that the schools will be able to set their own curriculum. I'd like to know just how far schools will be allowed to go in this manner. In the worst case, we could, for example, end up seeing Stupid Idiots deciding to teach children fairy tales in lieu of actual science.
(and, if I am going all out, we should be reducing the number of faith schools, not increasing them. Despite going to a Roman Catholic primary school myself, I think that religious instruction should take place outside the school system.)
This has been an "okay, so you scrapped grant-maintained schools as soon as you got in, and now you're bringing them back? Whatever…" post for the day.
I do like how the "Lauren made Lisa Scott-Lee cry" is becoming a running joke on cd:uk. I continue to be underwhelmed by Girls Aloud's new dance routine (I like Biology! But the video is a trifle dull, let's be honest), and 50 Cent jokes are always welcome. But! The best news is that the awful 'find people with the same name as pop stars' segment is finally over. And I'm going to miss the next three weeks so I'll be skipping Myleene's MC training…
…oh, yes, and something I'd missed: the hosts have their own blogs.
Ms. Miers had an opportunity to win over the skeptics this week with her answers to the Senate Judiciary Committee's questionnaire. But her responses were so unimpressive that the top Republican and Democrat on that committee took the extraordinary step yesterday of instructing her to give it another try, this time with more "particularity and precision." She thus became perhaps the most important judicial nominee in history to be offered what amounts to a do-over on a take-home quiz.
Ladies and gentlemen, the next Justice of the Supreme Court!
Come and Get It: #23 with a bullet in the midweeks (#78 on Amazon). Of course, at least she can get in Top 40, which is a nut that M.I.A. has yet to crack. Hell, even Annie managed it (advance notice: I will be reviewing Anniemal for Static in the upcoming weeks, so expect gushing).
Clearly, Profession Barwise needs to get out more:
"Looking at the scantily dressed presenters, you have to ask: who are these people and where are they going? It's 4pm and they look as if they're going to a nightclub," he said.
Walking down Camden would probably cause him to have a stroke…
I was hunting through some old CDs yesterday, trying to track down something that may appear later this week, when I came across a few little things that made me smile:
- Flossie's description of Bulimic Hippos, played on a Hungry Hungry Hippos board, but without marbles.
- Some RealAudio copies of Lauren's stint on the Evening Session back in 1999 (missing one day because Tom phoned up from Gabs to ask for help on a computer problem and using my machine crashed the encoder (STILL BITTER, TOM, FOR NUMEROUS REASONS! hehehe).
- And then, there's this. Encoded in room A14 of St. Anselm Hall on a Sunday afternoon on a struggling P166MMX, this is a feature that really should be resurrected for cd:uk: Lauren's Lingo (in MPEG-4 video).
I know what you're thinking: what's my take on the Doctor Who spinoff series, Torchwood, which was announced today?
(for those of you thinking about toast, please go down the hall to room 26)
Unsurprisingly, I'm in two minds. It's great that the BBC have so much faith in the new series that they're prepared to fund new science-fiction shows, and the proposed storyline is amusingly British (more anti-American bias from the BBC, obviously). But I'll miss Captain Jack in Doctor Who itself. I'm sure he's not being shunted to an 'adult' show because of his sexuality, but it was nice to have a character like that in a show like Who.
Now, if RTD can add Marcie to the cast, I'll throw aside all all my reservations!
Alas, Graeme, we'll miss you and your daily dose of comicboard-related sarcasm.
(I was hoping that for the final entry, we'd get the infamous Ellis/Camgirl transcripts, but for ultimate horror, K-Box's Aunt May porn fiction can't be trumped. Or read without wanting to scoop your eyes out so you can stick a knitting needle in your brain)
And you thought the New Order entry last week was showing high nerd levels…
Previously, on Snappish Thoughts, I went into far too much detail about a comics series called Crisis On Infinite Earths, aka 'The series that changed Everything', aka "OMG! THEY KILLED KARA ZOL-EL AND BARRY ALLEN SAVED THE UNIVERSE! OMG!" I also mentioned that twenty years on, DC are producing a follow-up to that story, with the very different title of Infinite Crisis.
Issue #1 shipped this week. And I would like to vent rage upon it. So, if you'll allow me a little indulgence:
What has come before:
Identity Crisis: Jean Loring decides that she wants to get back with her ex-husband, The Atom. To do this, she eschews the common method of compliments, some chocolates, and perhaps, perhaps, a visit to the movies or two, instead going for the more esoteric option of stealing her husband's shape-changing belts, shrinking herself down to a microscopic size, and walking on Sue Dibney's (wife of Ralph Dibney, Elongated Man) brain. When this ends up with the rather unfortunate result of a dead Mrs. Dibney, Jean burns her body with the flame-thrower that she handily brought with her and flees, leaving the JLA to discover Sue's corpse.
I will pause here so you can marvel at how stupid that sounds. I would also like to point out that this plot was conceived by an author who has made the New York Times Bestseller charts. The mind, clearly, boggles.
Anyway, during the JLA's investigation, it is REVEALED, in a SHOCKING flashback, that Sue Dibney, part of a comedy duo with her husband, was once savagely raped by the villain Dr. Light (for those less nerdy: it was like an episode of Friends, if said episode opened with the cast finding Phoebe's blood-spattered corpse on the hallway between the apartments). To pile on THE TRAGEDY, it turns out that Sue was pregnant when Jean decided to play a game of hopscotch in her head (at which point, readers started betting on what horrible event would retroactively be inflicted on Sue throughout the rest of the series).
BUT! In a further shocking development, it turned out that when the JLA of that time caught Dr. Light after the rape of Sue, they decided to mindwipe him, so he'd no longer be a threat to humanity. As Zatanna was casting a spell, Batman arrived at the satellite, catching them in the act. As you might imagine, Batman - not a fan of mindwipes or summary justice. So, the JLA mindwiped him too.
By the end of the series, it's fairly clear that Batman knows his mind was tampered with, and Is Not Happy. Superman is rather annoyed at the old JLA members who did the Erase and Rewind thing with Dr. Light, and Jean confesses to The Atom, saying she did it all for him. Because she loves him. No, really, a New York Times Bestseller.
Superman is also Not Happy with Batman, for no real reason that I can remember. But it's important for them not to like each other, as we'll see.
Okay, so that was earlier this year. Four mini-series began soon after, all leading into Infinite Crisis, aka "Fanboys, Open Your Wallets!". These were The Rann-Thanagarian War (BIG SPACE BATTLES!), Villians United (Lex Luthor manipulates a group of supervillains, including Mike The Parademon, Priest's loving rendition of Mike Chary, noted USENET wag, who sadly dies (BOO, GAIL!)), Day of Vengeance (Jean Loring, now offically Completely Nuts and having been spurned after her tapdancing frolics, does the only proper thing: she becomes a supervillain! Who seduces The Spectre and gets him to start a war on MAGIC! I'm sure it made sense in their heads), and OMAC (One Man Army Corps), which is probably the most important (although MAGIC was destroyed in DoV, thus seriously injuring Paul Zenon's attempt for a new series of Tricky Business).
Now, I must confess that I didn't read OMAC., so I may be missing a few points, but here's the basic plot: there's a guy called Brother Eye (who Batman seems to have created, in another misunderstanding of Morrison's BatGod concept, but there you go), in a satellite above the Earth, who sends out nanomachines that can turn humans into killer automatons. Classy!
Oh! But I've left something out! Countdown to Infinite Crisis, an 80-page comic which introduces the OMAC threat. To sum up, everybody makes fun of Blue Beetle, who then stumbles on the secret controller of the project, his old boss, Maxwell Lord (who has spent most of his comic life being a comedy figure. But, we forget, THIS UNIVERSE IS DARK AND WRONG, so he has to be evil). Who then kills him. w00t!
Anyway, back in OMAC, the Big 3 (Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman) bicker a little, and then! Max Lord uses mind-control powers on Superman, and has him fight Batman and the rest of the Justice League. THE BIG SCENE! Batman and Wonder Woman have tracked down Lord, and are trying to stop him, while Max taunts them. As Superman comes closer and closer to returning to fight the pair, Wonder Woman gets impatient and throws a shoe at Max Lord. Or slits his throat with her magic tiara. One of those, anyway.
Batman and a freed Superman are horrified, while WW is all like "whatEVER! I just saved the world! Now make me a sandwich!"
(oh, the OMAC project is not completely stopped, so there's still thousands of OMACs out there)
And thus, the scene is set for Infinite Crisis! Distrust amongst the heroes! A sense of things have gone wrong! It's too dark and gritty! (Possibly, just possibly, because in the past year, the DCU has been thrown off the rails to make everything as depressing as possible. After all, even in the darkest days of the 1990s, the idea of having Sue Dibney, of all people, raped would seem absurd. But apparently not now).
Still with me? I'm sorry.
DANGER! DANGER! "THINGS AREN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE" NARRATION!
IC#1 opens on the moon, in the ruins of the JLA Watchtower (I guess somebody blew it up. I'm sure it happened in an issue of something, but I have no clue what). Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman argue about what's happened (she wanted red peppers, but Superman was stingy and just bought the sandwich from outside the Daily Planet).
Back on Earth, RED SKIES! JUST LIKE LAST TIME! OMACs are attacking all over the place, but Superboy's sulking because, er, he's a clone of Lex Luthor mixed with Kryptonian DNA. You can see his point, really. The narration gives him a tongue-lashing. And THEN! FOUR! SHADOWY FIGURES! WATCHING! THEY'RE THE NARRATORS!
My heart sinks. Because I know who these people are.
After a weird bit with Nightwing (Dick Grayson, the original Robin), we go COSMIC with the Green Lanterns and the Guardians of Oa! They're concerned that the universe is dying, and more importantly, Oa is no longer the centre of the universe! All those maps! Ruined!
Then, Uncle Sam (yes, that Uncle Sam) leads the Freedom Fighters into a trap! Cue more death.
(By the way, if you're looking for non-exploitative use of female characters in all this, well, I'd sit the next few months out, to be honest. TINY FOOTPRINTS ON THE BRAIN!)
But! back on the moon! While the trio are arguing, Mongul shows up for, well, I guess he's got a reason, and gives us an excuse for another fight! This goes okay, but then Wonder Woman tries to kill him. Tsk. Tsk. It's almost like she has a taste for it!
So, then, another argument. And the final wedge driven into the group, as Batman snaps at Clark:
Oooh, GET HIM!
(We're obviously meant to forget Superman leading the planet against a Martian invasion, him holding the moon in place, fighting against a vessel of angels that were prepared to destroy Creation to hide their Secret, that when the population of Earth were given superpowers to fight against the Anti-Sun Mageddon, they came because 'they owed Superman one', or that this Superman lives to the 852rd century, inspires the generations of Supermen, becomes the greatest Green Lantern ever, and saves the universe from Solaris. All of which Batman knows about. But Geoff Johns doesn't like this Batman, so whatever)
The final two pages, then. The ending to the first part of a series that will change everything! A series promoted as the start of something new! Gaze in awe as the four figures break through the wall, REVEALING! REVEALING!
A Superman with white temples, a ginger guy in a gold suit, a Superboy, and a middle-aged Lois Lane.
Yes. IT'S CAPTAIN YESTERDAY! HE'S BACK TO SAVE US ALL!
At the end of the original Crisis, Superboy, the old Superman from Earth-2, Lois Lane, and Alex Luthor (Lex's son from Earth-3), realising there was no place for them in the new, combined universe, disappeared into a portal, heavily suggesting that they were heading off to Heaven. But now they're back. Because Things Have Gone Wrong.
Sigh. Yes, I know. But this series, and the rationale behind it irritates me a little (hahaha, well, perhaps a bit more than just a little, as you might have guessed). The writers seem convinced that the Silver Age was full of light fun, and the current stories aren't. So to take us back there, they've spent the best part of two years making the DCU a miserable place. Which, to me, is stacking the deck a bit. I don't have a problem with them bringing back the multiverse; while I prefer the current system, I'm not all that attached to it; I just think that spending thousands of pages of comics watching the Silver Age fans get their revenge on DCU Editorial of 1985 isn't all that entertaining.
Why couldn't they take a leaf out of Mr. Grant Morrison's hat? Instead of moaning that things need fixing, he brings that oft-discussed "Sense of Wonder" back into the DCU, but as something contemporary, not just the old sensibilities (His DC1,000,000 series cannot be read without MANLY NERD TEARS as you get to the final few pages).
Also, a tip. If you ever find yourself involved in a Crisis, make sure you're not wearing a Flash costume. It's bad for your health.
Finally, the cover to Infinite Crisis #2:
The poll also revealed overwhelming opposition to Bush among African-Americans. Only two percent said they approved of his performance as president, the lowest level ever recorded in that category, NBC television reported.
The fun thing about Apple product announcements is that even when most of the rumours turn out to be true, you'll normally get something completely unexpected. So it was a surprise to finally see a video iPod, after years of Steve Jobs saying 'no, we won't do that', and every rumour site insisting at every Apple Event that this time, oh this time, they'll launch it. It's finally here, and it's pretty much what everybody expected it to be; 320x240 video, capable of connecting to NTSC and PAL televisions, and coming in 30Gb and 60Gb versions. While I still can't see the appeal of the system to the majority (if you work in a city and take mass transit into work, then yes, this is great), it seems to have made many people happy.
The iMac G5 is lovely. The inbuilt webcam shows that Apple is serious about all this videoconferencing malarky with iChat (it'd be nice if Microsoft and Yahoo could get their act together and add video support to their applications, though). Possibly another reason why Mr. Ellis has decided to go back into the messageboard business.
The best part of the iMac is probably Front Row, which, from what I can tell, is what resulted after Apple finished laughing at Microsoft's Media Center applications. It's a TIVO module away from achieving everything you've ever dreamed about a media hub, and on the first attempt, too.
But, as all the coverage of the event indicates, the big news was the deal with ABC/Disney, allowing you to download ABC TV shows direct from iTunes (as long as you're American, of course). Again, 320x240, locked to five computers with FairPlay digital rights technology, and costing $1.99 per episode. Oh, and music videos too (UK conversion for the music videos and Pixar shorts is £1.89, which seems a trifle high). Buying a complete series this way is something of a rip-off ($44 versus a DVD set for about $10 extra, at a much higher resolution, bonus features, and hey, if you really want to, you can encode it for iPod viewing as well), but for the occasional purchase, it's not bad. iTunes 6 is a vast improvement over iTunes 5, in that it didn't junk my music library on the upgrade like the latter did, and now you can have video playlists! Even in fullscreen! This feature excites me, even if it's not exactly groundbreaking.
So, lots of shiny new stuff that looks great and I can't afford. Yay Apple!
The new Iraq constitution is now likely to pass, as the Sunnis have been offered a deal to support this weekend's vote. Admittedly, the deal is along the lines of "vote for it now, and we'll change it next year. Honest!", but I guess it's better than nothing. While Article 7 (which says that no law shall contradict 'universally agreed tenets of Islam') strikes me as a worrying loophole that could be used Weimar Republic-style, I suppose agreement is better than none,
Meanwhile, in the new home of women's rights that is Afghanistan!
Last week Baloch was in the news for jailing the editor of an Afghan women's magazine. The editor had questioned the harshness of sentences handed out under Shariah law. He also said that Muslims who reject their faith should not be punished.
As the White House seeks to rally senators behind the Supreme Court nomination of Harriet E. Miers, lawyers for the Republican senators on the Judiciary Committee are expressing dissatisfaction with the choice and pushing back against her, aides to 6 of the 10 Republican committee members said yesterday.
Ouch. It's amusing to watch the Republicans tear themselves apart over this, but you have to wonder who they'll get if Miers doesn't make it through the confirmation hearings.
On the other, hand, this is just funny.
Paradise Kiss is on the cutting edge of sequential art with high-quality pop-art illustrations that stretch the limits of traditional manga stereotypes. With characters who run the gamut of fashion, from the chic to the bizarre, Paradise Kiss is a coming of age story rooted in high comedy and one girl's awakening to her own beauty.
And for the anime, why, it's backed by Franz Ferdinand's Do You Want To!
(A companion piece, of sorts, to Sweeping The Nation's Japan watch. And beware, there is a high possibility of J-Pop MP3s by the end of the week)
Rachel Stevens — Come And Get It
It's quite a sad reflection on the music industry today that this album is already been written off as a commercial failure, and it isn't even out until the 17th. Now, it's a fine enough album, with a few great tracks, some ones that are quite good, and a few that are, well, a trifle dull. The problem is that it all sounds so anonymous; by the time the CD finishes, you get the feeling that pretty much any pop starlet could have been responsible for the past hour (with the exception of Some Girls, which Polydor have added to this album seemingly in a fit of desperation). I'm not one who insists that pop has to be about something, or have a message, but I would like to feel that the singer brings something to the project, as opposed to being just a simple cog in the producer's machine. People say that Stevens is a return to the sophisticated "New Pop" of the 1980s, but I think music critics have put too much emphasis on the role of the producer in that era. Sure, without Trevor Horn, Relax would be forgettable, but it's a Frankie Goes To Hollywood song, unmistakably. There's nothing here that suggests Ms. Stevens is capable of doing the same.
(Part of the commercial failure of this album, though, has to be placed at the foot of Polydor and 19 Entertainment, who released two of the weakest tracks from the album as singles. Plus, Negotiate With Love came out at the end of March, meaning that it's been over six months since the first single and the album's release, which seems awfully silly. A preferred release strategy, if I might be so bold, would have been to release I Said Never Again as the first single back in April, followed six weeks later with the Cure-sampling It's All About Me (I'm sure some interest could have been made out of that, even if pop sampling isn't all that notable these days). Followthat with the album a week or so later, and then release two more singles at six weeks intervals (probably the Eighth Wonder-aping Funny How and I Will Be There). Then, in October, cynically re-issue the album with a DVD containing the videos for all four singles (and Some Girls). Oh, and hire Michel Gondry to make one of them)
Also, I feel vindicated in my earlier Mud comments after finding out that Rob Davis co-wrote I Said Never Again…
Girls Aloud — Biology
Meanwhile, back at Camp Xenomania, they've come up with a cunning strategy: a detenté, if you will of the two main movements of British music in the 1990s. Which is to say that they've taken a Britpop song via The Kinks and ELO's Mr. Blue Sky, and stapled it to the Spice Girls' Spice Up Your Life. It really is better than it sounds, trust me, even if only the start seems to stick in the memory on the first ten listens.
Well, the Popjustice thread on Miss Stevens is now full of people dismissing the "it's the fault of downloaders!" stance that I was talking about on Monday, so hurrah. (Number 10 in the midweeks, though, which has got to be a big problem for her record company).
EDIT: But Ms. Stevens is now #11 in the midweeks. Oops.
Well, the news is in - Iraq has chosen its new model for democracy. Unfortunately, its model is Florida:
Some Sunni leaders who have been organizing a campaign to vote down the document said today that they might now boycott the Oct. 15 referendum, because the rule change made their efforts futile. Other political leaders also reacted angrily, saying the change would seriously damage the vote's credibility in Iraq and abroad.
Under the new rules, the constitution will fail only if two-thirds of all registered voters - rather than two-thirds of all those actually casting ballots - reject it in at least 3 of Iraq's 18 provinces.
The change, adopted during an unannounced vote in Parliament on Sunday afternoon, effectively raises the bar for those who oppose the constitution. Given that fewer than 60 percent of registered Iraqis voted in the January elections, the chances that two-thirds would both show up at the polls and vote against the document in three provinces would appear to be close to nil.
Still, we can be happier about the rumblings of a Republican filibuster of Harriet Miers (yes, their own candidate), and Mr. DeLay's latest indictment (which also appears to involve one Mrs. Thatcher, just to make it even more amusing):
If convicted, the money laundering charge carries a penalty of up to life in prison. The charge of conspiracy to launder money is punishable by up to 20 years in prison. The initial conspiracy charge carries a punishment of up to two years.
We can only hope…and if they want to extradite Mrs. T, well, funnily enough, our new treaty with America means that they don't have to give us any solid evidence…
I am amused by the constant complaining on Popjustice that the reason that pop acts aren't doing well on the album chart is that the kids are downloading the leaked version in advance of the actual release date. It's like they've swallowed the music industry's PR whole.
And I'll like to see their explanation for Franz Ferdinand's almost-certain number one this weekend, despite the album being widely available via ARRR! methods for a month beforehand…
(Note: This entry is long, pompous, and paints me firmly as a K-ROCKIST of the worst sort. I apologise in advance. I am withholding my supply of chocolate digestive biscuits from myself as a punishment)
So, I know you're thinking: given that Substance, (The Best of), (The Rest of), Retro, and International all exist, what possible room is there for yet another New Order hits collection?
Well, the gimmick behind Singles is that this collection, unlike others, features the actual 7" singles that New Order have released over the past twenty-five years, instead of album tracks, 12" mixes, or remixes. This Is A Lie, but hey, nobody ever expected them to be consistent.
The compilation starts off by including the original version of Ceremony, never before seen on compact disc. This was recorded when they were a three-piece; when Gillian joined the band, this original single was replaced by a shorter, 12" version which featured all four members. Now, it's not a vast difference, but this version sounds better to me, the rougher-production bringing out the most from Ian Curtis's final moment. So, hurrah!
Two more treats follow (skipping over Procession, as fabulous as it is, simply because there's no difference between this and the Substance version); the first appearance of the 7" mixes of Everything's Gone Green and Temptation! Retro-sequencer fun! The 12" version of Temptation is so much better though. But I'm biased, as I love that song more than butterflies.
And then, oh, and then. Yes, then it all starts to fall apart. Now, I can't blame them for Confusion. God knows, Arthur Baker has remixed it so many times you could probably fill an entire album with different takes on the track. It seems to be a song that New Order just can't help making new versions of, even by accident. They've done it again here, because this isn't the 7" mix of Confusion (either the Factory or Rough Trade version); it's the 12" mix with three minutes lopped off. And lo, the Confusion beast grew once more…
The Perfect Kiss. I'm getting annoyed now. Ooooh. Rage. Building. Up. Is this the 7" edit? The fabled 12" mix cruelly edited on the Substance compact disc and currently only available in its prime by either buying the original vinyl record or a cassette version of Substance? No, annoyingly, this is the album version that you'll find on Low-life. ARRRRRGH! WOULD IT HAVE BEEN SO HARD? *breaks down in tears* 40 SECONDS! THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING! MY VINYL COPY HAS A SCRATCH IN IT!
Shellshock and Sub-Culture (the latter being slightly infamous for Peter Saville refusing to do a cover for the single release, as he didn't like the mix. So Factory supplied it in a black sleeve) are all present and correct. But (come on, you know what's coming, don't you?) THEY DO IT AGAIN! Bizarre Love Triangle is taken straight from Brotherhood, not from either the 7" or 12" singles. Grrr. It's still awesome, of course, but you'd think they could have included the right version. It's not like New Order's catalogue is a complicated as Frankie Goes To Hollywood's (where Trevor Horn would often issue new mixes seemingly just for the hell of it).
The cover of Singles is the negative of this cover for 1987's True Faith / 1963:
(once again, neither of these is the original single. True Faith is the 12" version previous seen on Substance. 1963, is…well…Arthur Baker did a remix of it, so perhaps it's not too surprising that we have another new edit in addition to the original 1988 and 1995 releases. Oh God, Johnny, don't point that gun at me, we still have CD2 to go)
CD2 kicks off with Blue Monday 1988. Followed by Run2! Or not. You see, Run2 was withdrawn from sale after a lawsuit by John Denver, who thought it sounded a little too similar to Leaving On A Jetplane. However, Run2 has appeared in the listings of many a New Order compilation. Each time, hopes are raised, and savagely dashed, as it turns out to just be the original Run from Technique. I think, by now, they're doing it on purpose.
"Get round the back!" I love World In Motion. I know it's sneered upon by sniffier New Order fans, but come on! John Barnes! It's one-on-one! They don't make lyrics like that anymore (and indeed, in the Criminal Justice Act of 1994, such lyrics were outlawed, but apparently, curry-themed anthems are allowed). "We're singing for Eng-er-land!" How can people hate this?
Spooky is another album version instead of the single, but as it's Spooky, nobody cares (unfair, actually, listening to it again. In fact, most of Republic is unfairly maligned. Sure, it's not as good as Technique, and I can see how it could be considered a disappointment after that, but it's still got a nice groove. (Yes, I just used 'groove' *strikes a Westwood pose*)).
The rest of the compilation follows the single gimmick correctly, so I have nothing to complain about. So, I'll say that as comebacks go, Crystal is up there with "TALK TO THE HAND!" Everything wonderful about twenty years of electronic pop reflected and refracted around a glitterball synth. Even if it reveals that Barney hasn't found the honey section of the supermarket yet (it's actually quite cheap!). After Here To Stay, the curio from the 24 Hour Party People soundtrack, produced by The Chemical Brothers, the band (now minus Gillian) decided to have another three year rest, perhaps in order to stop themselves hating each other again, and perhaps just because they're a bunch of slackers.
Anyway, CD2 ends with the singles from 2005's Waiting For The Sirens' Call. Krafty may sound like the band hit 'New Order Preset 2 (Republic Edition)', but hey, it's effective. As much I like Ana Matronic, the same can't be said of Jetstream, which never really takes off (I'm so sorry. But it had to be done). Waiting For The Sirens' Call and Turn though, are both great.
So, what have we learnt? Aside from me being a complete obsessive who shouldn't be allowed out of the house? Despite the practice they've had over the years, the definitive New Order compilation is still elusive. Singles is riddled with labelling errors, wrong track selections, and extensive duplication with past collections. Yet, it's utterly essential and fantastic. If you don't know various FAC numbers off by heart (only a few! It's not as if I've memorised the entire catalogue! Stop looking at me like that!), this is a great way to get the best of New Order (I'd also advise picking up Substance when it floats into one of HMV's roaming sales, as it's mainly 12" mixes and is just as wonderful). If you do happen to know what FAC123 is without looking it up (SHUT YOUR MOUTH), then Singles will irritate you. It really will, but you'll buy it anyway for what it includes, and grumble quietly about the mistakes. Or write huge-ass blog entries about them. Who knows?
"Doing his job has always been his strongest suit," said one adviser close to the White House. "Let Bush be Bush. Let him lead. It's what Bush does in times like these."
You may have seen this, but still! The Shining as if directed by Nora Ephron!
I have a dim recollection of talking to somebody who edited all of Schindler's List down to three minutes, and then set it to Transvision Vamp's Baby I Don't Care. Which is probably better, for sheer crassness, but this is funny too.
Lol 593 i am only 16 and 902 who needs GCSE when you can strip off and turn men on?
Ah, Fizz. The music channel of champions (the use of 'you' instead of 'u' is an anomaly).
Did anybody have the heart to tell Lisa Scott-Lee that the poll result on cd:uk really wasn't in her favour?