Did you hear the one about the crack-addicted squirrels in South London? I ask because an article I read this morning mentions both the Smurfs' and the squirrels' predicaments. Apparently they keep digging up people's crack stash in their gardens, and now they've got the nose for it they can seek it out quite happily. I want to know a) how it was deduced that the squirrels were now crack-addicts, b) what kind of idiot hides crack by burying it where animals live, sniff and dig, and most importantly c) just how in the hell did they work out how to smoke it?
Ian
October 10, 2005 2:59 PM
Armed dolphins in the Gulf of Mexico, gangs of crack-addicted squirrels in London…the 21st century is odd…
(they probably found them in possession of a Babyshambles CD)
lucas
October 11, 2005 7:02 AM
well for c. the chimp proable taught them: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4305600.stm
T
October 11, 2005 9:43 AM
Maybe Will Self's concept of a house founded on a large rock of crack cocaine will yet prove to be true.
The squirrels are just heavily into prose, but have a poor grasp of irony, being originally of US origin, AFAIK.
Ian
October 11, 2005 9:55 AM
Arf. Red squirrels, of course, were caught unawares on the Thames, sipping Pimms in their punts when the Yankees came in their thousands ;)
But perhaps the greys are the ones who have been writing The Simpsons all these years?
By the end of the week, I want a super-animal squad formed:
Pete The Crack Squirrel, explosives expert.
Comrade Chimp, the French Chimp with a background in Marxism, the leader of the group.
Darwin The Assault Dolphin, the sniper.
Raggy Robin - Heavy air support, plus he knows when you've been naughty…
R
October 11, 2005 12:07 PM
I think they're Australian, but that wouldn't knock too many holes in your theory. ;) That said, I met at least one grey with a nodding acquaintance with irony. It came down a tree in front of me on Prince Albert Road (which is busy). I stopped, hoping to avoid scaring it into the road. In stopping, I caused it to notice me, whereupon it turned tail and ran into the road, directly under the wheels of an S-class Mercedes. Maybe it had stashed its crack across the road?
Ian
October 11, 2005 1:06 PM
They really are vicious in Chapel Hill - I've been pelted with acorns, and one tried to take Laura off her bike once…and there's hundreds of them running about the campus…JUST WAITING…
T
October 11, 2005 1:56 PM
Maybe it had a guilty conscience, and you'll find a small baggie up that tree... be careful, don't fall. ;)
Back in Smurf news: http://media.mediafetcher.com/content/smurfbomb-11.wmv
Ian
October 11, 2005 4:20 PM
Thank you!
Although slightly disappointed to see it's not full animation…cheapskates…
R
October 11, 2005 5:34 PM
Squirrels? Pelted you with acorns? Tried to take Laura off her bike? Was there some kind of radiation disaster in Chapel Hill, or are we blaming the crack again?
Ian
October 11, 2005 6:07 PM
The squirrels in Chapel Hill are quite vicious - they hang around campus all day, just waiting for innocent students to fall into their clutches!
R
October 11, 2005 6:30 PM
Sure, I can get on board with gangs of disaffected squirrels intimidating passers-by, but I'm having trouble picturing one mounting an attack on someone on a bike....
Ian
October 11, 2005 7:41 PM
They'll jump on to anything, including it seems, oncoming traffic.
Did you hear the one about the crack-addicted squirrels in South London? I ask because an article I read this morning mentions both the Smurfs' and the squirrels' predicaments. Apparently they keep digging up people's crack stash in their gardens, and now they've got the nose for it they can seek it out quite happily. I want to know a) how it was deduced that the squirrels were now crack-addicts, b) what kind of idiot hides crack by burying it where animals live, sniff and dig, and most importantly c) just how in the hell did they work out how to smoke it?
Armed dolphins in the Gulf of Mexico, gangs of crack-addicted squirrels in London…the 21st century is odd…
(they probably found them in possession of a Babyshambles CD)
well for c. the chimp proable taught them: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4305600.stm
Maybe Will Self's concept of a house founded on a large rock of crack cocaine will yet prove to be true.
The squirrels are just heavily into prose, but have a poor grasp of irony, being originally of US origin, AFAIK.
Arf. Red squirrels, of course, were caught unawares on the Thames, sipping Pimms in their punts when the Yankees came in their thousands ;)
But perhaps the greys are the ones who have been writing The Simpsons all these years?
By the end of the week, I want a super-animal squad formed:
Pete The Crack Squirrel, explosives expert.
Comrade Chimp, the French Chimp with a background in Marxism, the leader of the group.
Darwin The Assault Dolphin, the sniper.
Raggy Robin - Heavy air support, plus he knows when you've been naughty…
I think they're Australian, but that wouldn't knock too many holes in your theory. ;) That said, I met at least one grey with a nodding acquaintance with irony. It came down a tree in front of me on Prince Albert Road (which is busy). I stopped, hoping to avoid scaring it into the road. In stopping, I caused it to notice me, whereupon it turned tail and ran into the road, directly under the wheels of an S-class Mercedes. Maybe it had stashed its crack across the road?
They really are vicious in Chapel Hill - I've been pelted with acorns, and one tried to take Laura off her bike once…and there's hundreds of them running about the campus…JUST WAITING…
Maybe it had a guilty conscience, and you'll find a small baggie up that tree... be careful, don't fall. ;)
Back in Smurf news: http://media.mediafetcher.com/content/smurfbomb-11.wmv
Thank you!
Although slightly disappointed to see it's not full animation…cheapskates…
Squirrels? Pelted you with acorns? Tried to take Laura off her bike? Was there some kind of radiation disaster in Chapel Hill, or are we blaming the crack again?
The squirrels in Chapel Hill are quite vicious - they hang around campus all day, just waiting for innocent students to fall into their clutches!
Sure, I can get on board with gangs of disaffected squirrels intimidating passers-by, but I'm having trouble picturing one mounting an attack on someone on a bike....
They'll jump on to anything, including it seems, oncoming traffic.
Back in Smurf news: it's small, but I think this is the full advert.