Is This Thing Still On...?
Nov 2, 2010 · 7 minute readYeah, well, it was this or annoying all my friends on Facebook and Twitter with updates throughout the evening.
So here we are…my mind turns back to a night back in 2006, about 3am in the morning, chatting away deliriously on GChat with a friend. “We’ve won! We’ve won!” And just two years ago, getting seriously drunk on Red and Blue, yelling at John McCain and the cheering, and the getting naked and jumping in the pool….okay, for the record, only some of us did that. It was November, after all, and even drunk, I still retain my British inhibitions. Standards. Tonight, though, I suppose I should remember a different night. November 2004. The soul-crushing look on Jon Stewart’s face; moving from 112 N. Graham Street to Luke’s apartment and just getting more and more drunk as the returns came in. The ‘Hope Ends; Merge Right’ sign outside The Internationalist the next day. Total abject misery hanging around Chapel Hill. goes for the vodka I suppose the lesson is that all things will pass. There isn’t a permanent realignment…and yes, it turns out that being the most obstructionist party in the history of the Union actually can lead you to victory. Who knew? I’m taking solace in that last weekend’s rally was easily as big as Mr. Beck’s, that California still looks quite blue, and maybe, just maybe, the Democrats will pull out a few surprises tonight. (incidentally, this week’s This American Life has a great piece on the Democrats and how rubbish they are at messaging. I think everybody forgets that most of us spent July and August 2008 yelling at the Obama campaign as they took hit after hit, mind you) Tomorrow, I’m going to London to look at chocolate bar wrappers. And to get some chocolates. Wouldn’t you? pauses. GODDAMN INITIAL REVIEW. Ahem. I was asked today if I was still keen on going to America today seeing the impending massacre. Hell yes. Just so I can answer MoveOn and OFA emails in 2012 without feeling guilty that I can’t really do much to help (foreign donations are illegal unless they come from the Chamber of Commerce, don’t forget!). And I don’t know how useful phone banking would be right now. IAN: Can I ask if you’re voting for David Price this Tuesday? CONFUSED VOTER: Er, is that an English accent? IAN: Well…yes. CONFUSED, BUT NOW SLIGHTLY ANNOYED VOTER: I bet you don’t even live in my district! IAN (flustered): No – but as soon as the Immigration department sorts out my visa – RAGING VOTER: I’M CALLING ICE ON YOUR ASS! ACORN files for bankruptcy today. That’s how you know this election won’t be stolen.On Tuesday, Rep. Michele Bachmann, one of the more eccentric members of the Republican Party, put out feelers that she would like to assume the leadership role likely to be vacated by Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.).THERE IS NOT ENOUGH VODKA. ON PLANET EARTH. People are pretty mean to Harry Reid, and God knows, I’ve yelled a lot at him over the past two years, but this is a guy who had no margin of error in passing ACA, unlike Pelosi (who I love, obviously), and he pulled through using every Senatorial trick up his sleeve, passing the most liberal piece of law the country has seen for almost half-a-century. Yeah, he’s not LBJ. But he’s better than his press indicates. 15 Minutes. TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE GONNA DO! (there’s about five people who’ll get that reference. And two of them are in the band in question) http://election2010.talkingpointsmemo.com (HTML5, bitches!) To bolster my East Coast Liberal credentials, I have switched to Crème de Violette cut with 7up. It’s like drinking liquid Parma Violets. This Is A Good Thing.
Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton visited a former Khmer Rouge torture house in Cambodia on Monday and urged the nation to proceed with trials of the former regime’s surviving leaders in order to “confront its past.”O RLY? I’m hearing worrying reports about Dem turnout in Delaware. If O’Donnell wins, I’ll have to re-evaluate my support of the 17th Amendment. And I bet Alan Keyes will be pissed… Rand Paul up 7% on first precinct reporting. No, make that 13% after 3. Oooh, now down to 11%. After 6. I think we might as well give up on that one now. Indiana returns coming through are staggeringly brutal - one of 538’s races to watch is Indiana-2. If the GOP wins there, they may be on track beat 538’s 59 seat. The Democrat is currently down by 25. Atmosphere kicks in as the depression starts to take hold. Yes, this is happening. Twice in one year! Second wave of polls about to close: Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Vermont, and Virginia. NC closes at 7:30 with OHio and WV. Oh, and for those of you ready for six years of laughs - turnout was low in Clark County, NV, which means we may be looking at Sharron Angle (R-NV). Dear God. (I have actually stopped drinking…mainly because I’m a total lightweight) A SEAT IN VERMONT HAS GONE DEMOCRATIC! #thatstakingrefuge Surprisingly, Jim DeMint is going to beat Alvin Greene for the Senate seat in SC…there’s a story to be told there in 50 years’ time, I think… About the only positive sign so far is Kentucky-6. With about 20% of the vote in so far, Ben Chandler (D) has a 7-8 point lead over his opponent. Ky-6 is one of 538’s bellweather races - if the Republicans win there, they may take over 60 seats in the House… Nothing in from NC-4 yet… Alvin Greene is getting 30% of the vote in SC. I personally think that’s a triumph. It’s now time for a nice cup of tea. And about 19 more states. It’s looking touch and go for David Price (NC-4). But Durham County is beginning to count its votes, and we bleed blue… There’s now fewer than 1000 votes separating the two candidates in KY-6. But on the brighter side, Dems hold DE, CT, and most likely WV in the Senate, And now, a song:
When the smaller picture is the same as the bigger picture you know that you’re fucked And you’re trading paper cuts for splinters you’re out of luckMore votes coming in from Durham County - a 1% deficit is now almost a lead of 8% in NC-4. TAKE THAT, RALEIGH! Soon, though, we’ll get to witness the fall of Feingold. Thank you so much, Citizens United. Other news from NC - it looks like felons will be prevented from elected sheriff! The 14.3% of current votes against the proposal obviously have something they’re not telling us. All the networks are calling the House for the GOP - around the 239-196 level… NC-4 is called for David Price…wwoo! Polls now closed in NV…Sestak doing quite well in PA… …except now he’s not - pretty much tied in PA with 11% reporting still to come… Are they actually planning on counting the votes in NV? I’m starting to feel sleepy… THIS IS CALIFORNIA! WELCOME TO THE DEMOCRATIC FIREWALL. BOXER WILL STAMP ON YOU. Okay, so Hawaii is called Dem, which gives us 50+Biden (NEVER FORGET THE BIDEN). Reid is currently not doing too badly in NV, and Bennett is still up in Colorado. We’re pulling ahead in WA too (though that depends on the Seattle vote holding up, I think). Plus, nobody knows what’s going to happen in Alaska (I predict a few court cases if the write-in vote is close). So, GOP House, Democratic Senate. Oh what a fun two years we’ll have… Fox has just called NV for Reid. Time for bed…